PLAY A COPING SKILL FOR OUR LIVES

Germany in November Archan's Mom and I

I love the word 'play' and I am afraid of it, I think. First why I am afraid, well I think it is because I have this belief that 'play' is for children only, it is a waste of time, don't know how to play as an adult so would I look silly. Why do I love the word 'play',well I was remembering this morning what I loved to do as a child, how I loved using my imagination and living my life there for periods of time. A memory just came to me, from a time when I was babysitting our two granddaughters in Digby. There was a hill very close to their home, it was summer time, and I imagined coasting down that hill. I found a crazy carpet and the three of us went coasting, what fun. I am sure some people would think that odd, coasting in the summer and at my age (about 9 years ago). I love to 'play' I was talking with Greg at the Chatterbox Cafe in Pugwash about spending time with grandchildren and how our way of being changes, we allow ourselves to play, and actually it feels natural.

 Martha Beck talks a lot about play, I am reading her book " Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want" and she says ".....the way to cope with the increasing complexity of the wild new world is to play more." Martha Beck also talks about "deep play" which involves mastering something difficult. She goes on "Real play is actually a wildly creative application of deep practice. It means picking something hard and doing it at a level that's almost too difficult."

Neuroscientists have found that this "edge of impossibilty" is where the brain produces its maximum doses of feel-good hormones like dopamine." Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls it "flow", Ellen Langer calls it "mindfulness". I like how Martha Beck says we must learn to play like we mean it. I really enjoyed as a child the difficult challenge of taming a wild barn cat, a scared race horse, I would learn the sounds the animal made and watch intensely it's body language with my whole body and mind. I would succeed in befriending it and feel so good about it (feel-good hormones). I would feel connected with everything for a period of time.

 I do want to play more, and bring this concept of play into my whole life not just brief periods of time. See what I am doing presently or something that is difficult I want to do as a time of deep play, I find that there is not an attachment to the outcome, pressure is not there, I like this human quality of 'play'. I hope you too will play more, love to all.

  Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sickness and Health.......

I am still working very hard to learn about me, and from doing this I am seeing more clearly the obstacles to my own happiness, good health and healthy relationships. In all my experiences in life I am the one constant.
 To do this research on me, I have to be  the scientist and lab rat at the same time. This is the most important work I have to do and the most challenging. What has been my most important step in this process..... setting the intention and paying attention, in other words practicing mindfulness. If there is no motivation there is no action, my motivation comes from wanting to create a kinder world, and that starts with me being kinder to myself and understanding me, and the obstacles that keep me from being kind to myself. The obstacles are the old habits, patterns and stories I tell myself, and in order to be aware of them I practice being mindful to what is going on in my inner world...not an easy practice, but the results are MOST certainly worth it.

“If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing... We may only go in circles...”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life 
  
I can be so unkind to myself, say things I would not say to someone else, like "come on you have no reason to be tired, get at it", "you will NEVER be good enough, know enough, just give up", "___________ doesn't like you, so just go away", "what good is your life, you waste so much time", "other people know better than you, you don't know what you want", on and on. This kind of internal dialogue keeps me stuck, inhibits personal growth, creates stress which causes inflammation, poor health over time and a sense of not being all right in the world, a feeling of sadness, loneliness, fear, and energy draining.As I get to know myself, my inner world better, more familiar which is what meditation, the practice of mindfulness does, allowing me to be more familiar with what is happening. When I notice I am caught in these old patterns, this is a mindful moment and this is where I can pause and change what is happening internally. What are the things you say to yourself that have become habitual over the years, that hold you prisoner? What practices do you do that help with these old stories?

Sharing our life journey with each other helps us feel not so alone, that it is not just me, that this is a journey we are all struggling in, together.

Love to all