My Teacher, Sam

 Archan and I were at our family lake lot with wonderful friends, yesterday. They enjoyed swimming, kayaking, I sat on shore afraid to get in the water in case the movement would cause me more pain. I fell off a horse two years ago and the recovery has been long and slow. I had kayaked a short distance the day before and was sore, so thought it best to give the body more time to recover. In a lot of circumstances that is a wise option, to allow time to recover.

I had a conversation with our friend's son, Sam, and something he said made me sit up more straight and listen more with all my senses, with my whole body.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
― Albert EinsteinI

I have experienced  that if I pay attention with the intention to be open to what is being said, shown, I will learn what I need at the time. Sam just completed his first year in university, studying engineering, I asked him why engineering, he said "because I want to challenge myself". Imagine saying I want to challenge myself. What would I do if I wanted to challenge myself? WOW!!! I love this question, when I ask it I feel myself sit straighter, there is a feeling of alertness, curiosity, confidence, I want to look at what would challenge me, not always go for the safe route.

“It's daring to be curious about the unknown, to dream big dreams, to live outside prescribed boxes, to take risks, and above all, daring to investigate the way we live until we discover the deepest treasured purpose of why we are here.”
― Luci Swindoll, I Married Adventure

Today I biked to the lake for the first time this summer, I went in swimming, I want to challenge myself, not stand on the shore and watch my life go by, I am going to say "YES" to the challenge/s that I am facing. I will do some very gentle movement tomorrow so the body can recover. What I learned from Sam, I will use in all aspects of my life, I am smiling as I am writing, my heart is contented, mind focused lesson from the teacher is being assimilated. I had a feeling when talking with Sam that he says "YES" a lot in his life. Thank you, Sam I am very grateful that you came with your parents and shared part of your life journey with me, you gave me something I needed to hear. Love to All

  Getting to Know Me, For Better or Worse, in Sickness and Health.......

I am still working very hard to learn about me, and from doing this I am seeing more clearly the obstacles to my own happiness, good health and healthy relationships. In all my experiences in life I am the one constant.
 To do this research on me, I have to be  the scientist and lab rat at the same time. This is the most important work I have to do and the most challenging. What has been my most important step in this process..... setting the intention and paying attention, in other words practicing mindfulness. If there is no motivation there is no action, my motivation comes from wanting to create a kinder world, and that starts with me being kinder to myself and understanding me, and the obstacles that keep me from being kind to myself. The obstacles are the old habits, patterns and stories I tell myself, and in order to be aware of them I practice being mindful to what is going on in my inner world...not an easy practice, but the results are MOST certainly worth it.

“If we hope to go anywhere or develop ourselves in any way, we can only step from where we are standing. If we don't really know where we are standing... We may only go in circles...”
― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life 
  
I can be so unkind to myself, say things I would not say to someone else, like "come on you have no reason to be tired, get at it", "you will NEVER be good enough, know enough, just give up", "___________ doesn't like you, so just go away", "what good is your life, you waste so much time", "other people know better than you, you don't know what you want", on and on. This kind of internal dialogue keeps me stuck, inhibits personal growth, creates stress which causes inflammation, poor health over time and a sense of not being all right in the world, a feeling of sadness, loneliness, fear, and energy draining.As I get to know myself, my inner world better, more familiar which is what meditation, the practice of mindfulness does, allowing me to be more familiar with what is happening. When I notice I am caught in these old patterns, this is a mindful moment and this is where I can pause and change what is happening internally. What are the things you say to yourself that have become habitual over the years, that hold you prisoner? What practices do you do that help with these old stories?

Sharing our life journey with each other helps us feel not so alone, that it is not just me, that this is a journey we are all struggling in, together.

Love to all