Friday, 9 January 2015

                                              CALLING ALL TIRED WOMEN

We women are really struggling these days, trying to be all things to all people and being mostly nothing to ourselves. Most of us have at least two jobs, one in the home and one outside, to which we just can't seem to be enough and give enough, (or at least that is what we tell ourselves...often). Most of us do not feel appreciated, acknowledged for all we do, how we are feeling is not being validated, seen for who we are vs how we look and how much we can do. Most of us would like to slow down, simplify our life but the world seems to be speeding up and becoming more complex. What to do? No, no more doing you say!!!! OK I understand, how about undoing some during our day to nurture ourselves. We are very good at nurturing, we are born nurturers, it is an innate ability we have.

Why not use this gift we have and give freely to others, whether we are a school teacher, nurse, clerk, carpenter, truck driver we at sometime during our day if not most of it using our nurturing abilities to support someone- use it to support ourselves. We have to stop looking outside of ourselves for nurturing, we need to start nurturing ourselves. Yes, we can have friends and family members who also nurture us, but as you feel,  it is not enough. Because FIRST and FOREMOST we need to nurture ourselves, when others nurture us that is icing on the cake.

What do we want to model for our daughters, for the girls in our lives? What are we teaching them as they watch us and listen to us, learn from us? What are we modeling for our sons the boys in our lives that this is how women should be in the world? We model for them that women are fine being  exhausted, they don't say "NO" no matter how tired they are, we send them mixed messages, treat women well with respect, but we don't treat ourselves well. Let's model self-compassion, compassionate friendship with ourselves, forgiveness, yes we screw up but we forgive ourselves with a loving heart and do better when we know better, self-care: getting quality sleep and enough, setting healthy boundaries, saying "NO" without guilt, eat food that help us flourish, makes us feel energetic, light, thankful and that we feel good about after we eat it, that it is a right have a treat once in a while  without guilt or shame, that dancing is a very good thing anywhere, anytime, hugs are a gift to give and receive, courage to be who you are, authenticity, practice gratitude at the dinner table, at bedtime what is it about yourself you are grateful for..ex. I am grateful that when I smile my heart feels lighter, today I saw our cat playing with snowflakes and I starting laughing, this is not easy we are so used to saying what we are grateful for about other people or situations,give it a try. The practice of gratitude is very good for the heart, mind and body.  Demonstrate that we need each other, we are interconnected -like your emotions are contagious, and to reach and ask for help is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of courage.

As women we need to nurture ourselves and each other, this life is NOT a competition we all want to  be happy, we all deserve to be happy. So, let's be a model for our children, for each other, this is where the rubber hits the road, we can talk all we want, now let's walk our talk. I'm walking and falling down, getting back up, determined and calling you to walk with me hand in hand, heart with heart to make this the kind of world we will be proud for our daughters and sons to inherit. Love to all, mary

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